Friday Funnies

Walking back to the car on a cold and blustery day in D.C.

Me (to Kurt):  My ears are frozen.  I really should get myself some ear muffs.  

Skyler:  You know what I really need, Mom?

Me:  What?

Skyler:  A nose muff!  

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I'm digging through the fridge, clearing out leftovers, while the kids are eating their dinner.

Me:  Sky and Chase, would you like some chicken?

S:  What kind?

Me:  You know, the kind we had yesterday, the kind you like.

S:  Sure, I'll have a chicken boob.

Me: Chicken boob?!

S:  Yeah, you know, boob is another word for "breast," right?  So, one boob for me.

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I'm helping Skyler do her math homework while Chase and Evan are supposed to be playing quietly on their own (yes, yes, this is practically impossible).  We're working on fractions (making me teach this is cruel and unusual punishment for both Sky and me); the problem shows 12 doughnuts and she's supposed to color 1/4 of the doughnuts.

Me:  Okay, so color 1/4 of the doughnuts.

S:  So, just one?

Me:  Nope, one out of every four...(trying to stay calm while concurrently doing what every respectable mom in the 21st century does when homework support is needed...checking Khan Academy, but no help there...)

S:  Hmm...I don't get it (Evan can now be heard--"Oh oh, oh oh!"--as he's throwing toys into the trash can in the other room; Chase is now screeching and breakdancing right near us.)

Me:  Chase, cut it out and Skyler, think!  

S:  Hmm...(close to tears now...we both are, actually...we've been doing homework for close to an hour at this point)

Me: (lightbulb going off) Okay, let's use crayons and say they're doughnuts.  Say we have twelve doughnuts (handing her the crayons) and you, Chase, Madeleine, and Evan will share them, so let's divide them equally into four groups.

S:  Okay!  (excited with the manipulatives, divides them into three groups of 4 crayons...)

Me:  Well, here are your doughnuts, Madeleine's, Chase's...but what about Evan's?

Chase:  Mom, mom, but Evan can't eat doughnuts anyway!  He can't!  He can't!

Me:  Chaaaaase...mind your own business, we're trying to solve this problem.  Now, Sky, where are poor Evan's doughnuts?

Chase: (on sensing that I'm cross)  I got it Mom!!!  (throwing a huge handful of crayons on the desk)  Now there are doughnuts for Evan and everyone else, even you!

(Big sigh...and a smile)

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Skyler is talking on the phone to one of her aunts, reciting a simple Valentine's poem that she wrote at school.  

Chase: (overhearing her sister and not wanting to be outdone)  I know a Valentine's poem, too, Mom!

Me:  Okay, let's hear it.

Chase: (Thinking, but with very little hesitation/pause)

Roses are red,

Boys are just tough

Valentine's Day

Makes me feel gruff

Me:  Wow!

Chase: Hahaha! (head back in maniacal cackle...)

Photo taken 7/17/10, Dairy Queen 

Photo taken 10/15/10

Photo taken 10/17/10

Photo taken 12/1/10
There was a time when Evan would get "stuck."
We'd hear little grunting sounds and find him stuck
halfway on this back and unable to get up.
Skyler and Chase LOVE this pic of Evan
and think it's so hilarious they ask to see it all the time!